Do Not Ask For What You Cannot Have
by Seadragon68
Summary: Seeing Gabriel again, Dracula remembers when he first came into his life. Mild VHDrac slash but not graphic. Not very happy


**_I dedicate this to all themembers atGabriel's Lust who are sadly underserved in the Van Helsing/Dracula department. This one's for you._**

**_As for the rest of you reading this - be warned, its very high on the angst factor..._**

Gabriel… 400 years had past and still all it took was seeing him to stir it all up again. One look at that powerful body, those compelling eyes and he was swamped by desire. Desire for the one thing he could never have. Not that he hadn't tried. He had tried to move Heaven and when that failed, he resorted to Hell. But neither had given him the only thing he had ever really wanted.

Gabriel, the Left Hand of God. An angel sent to earth to serve as God's warrior. Never had there been a more magnificent being in Vlad's eyes. From the first time he had seen him – in battle fighting yet another holy war, he had sworn to have him. His family has always served God; surely this was not so much to ask… but as it turned out, it was.

That night he watched him as they celebrated their victory over the heathens. Every move Gabriel made was filled with grace, his voice soft yet compelling when he spoke. The more Vlad watched, the more enthralled he became.

When Gabriel left the High Table, Vlad made his own excuses to his father and followed Gabriel out. He made no attempt to hide his presence, knowing that a warrior as great as Gabriel would be aware he was being followed. When Gabriel reached his room, he stopped and turned to Vlad.

"What is it you want from me? I know you watched me all night. What do you want?" Gabriel looked him in the eye, though with puzzlement rather then aggression. "Do you truly have no idea what I want?" said Vlad softly. "You are magnificent. Surely you know how much you are desired…?" Gabriel closed his eyes, seemly embarrassed by what he heard. Still, he did not move away when Vlad stepped closer.

"I would worship you as you deserve. I would fill this night and all others with such passion as would make you seek no others. I will give you everything you desire if you give yourself to me" Vlad moved closer still until there was but a breath between their bodies. He reached up his hand and brushed the hair that hung before Gabriel's eyes.

Gabriel opened his eyes at the touch and gazed deeply into Vlad's eyes. He seemed bemused by all that was said to him. Vlad trailed his finger across Gabriel's lips and was rewarded with a slight gasp. "Give yourself to me" he whispered again as he continued to caress Gabriel's face. Gabriel's eyes began to cloud as Vlad's caresses continued to drift across his face and down his neck. Boldly Vlad leaned forward and brushed his lips across Gabriel's. Again he heard a soft gasp escape the dark warrior's lips and with a smile he leaned in again, this time capturing them in a deep kiss. At first, there was no response but slowly Gabriel's lips softened and when Vlad ran his tongue across them, he parted them to allow it entry.

Vlad buried his hands in the warrior's hair and drew him closer still. He was determined to burn himself into this magnificent being, brand him for all time as his own. His kiss grew almost brutal as he plundered the mouth before him. He pushed Gabriel back against the wall, pinning him so there was no way to escape, no distance between them. He was burning for this man… this Warrior of God. He heard a moan come from Gabriel and felt a fierce joy that he had captured this priceless prize.

When the need to breath became too much to ignore, he wretched his mouth away, and looked at the man before him. Gabriel's eyes were closed and he too was breathing in deep gasping breaths. As his eyes fluttered open, they were clouded with desire and Vlad knew he would have his prize tonight. "Come with me Gabriel and we will share such pleasure as you have never known before."

Gabriel seemed to struggle with this but Vlad gave him no quarter, quickly recapturing his mouth with a fiery kiss. Quickly Gabriel succumbed and returned the kiss with equal passion. His arms came up for the first time to hold Vlad as the kiss became hotter and fiercer. This time when they drew apart for a necessary breath, there was no confusion in Gabriel. When Vlad opened the door to his room, Gabriel followed him in with no hesitation….

In the morning, Vlad woke to find himself alone. When he dressed and sought out Gabriel, it was to find out that he had left at dawn. He was returning to Rome to report on the success of the battle. Vlad was furious and raged at his father for allowing it. "He is The Left Hand of God, Vlad. He must go where he is sent and come when he is called. It is not for us to give orders to one such as he."

"It is not for us??? Are we not too the warriors of God? Do we not bleed and die for His Glory? We have sacrificed much – do we not deserve a reward for what we do?" he yelled, angry pacing about the room. His father was horrified. "Vlad, do not say such things. It is honor enough that we are allowed to serve. Do not be so full of pride that you overstep yourself. Do not ask for what you cannot have. He is the Left Hand of God"

Vlad rounded on his father "Do not tell me what I can and cannot have. He is mine and if God will not give him to me then I will find another Master who will" and he stormed from the room, his anger a visible wall around him. All avoided him as he made his way to his room. He packed his saddlebags quickly and left once again. His father tried to stop him as he saddled his horse.

"Do not do this my son. You will be struck down for your arrogance. Forget this madness and stay here." But Vlad merely sneered at his father. "Arrogance you call it. Last night I claimed the God's Warrior and I will not relinquish him. I go now to take back what is mine." And with that he rode off without so much as a backward look. His father's eyes filled with tears as he knew this could only end in tragedy.

Vlad rode hard through the day and most of the night to catch up with Gabriel. He cared not for the state of his horse, only that he reach the one who had so captured his heart and soul. When at last he finally saw his quarry, he felt a savage joy at the thought of claiming again this magnificent warrior. This was his prize for his service to God.

Gabriel turned when he heard the sound of fast approaching hoof beats. He looked shocked to see Vlad coming towards him. "Why are you here?" he asked. "How can you even ask that?" Vlad said angrily. "You are mine. You had no right to leave as you did."

Gabriel looked stunned for a moment but then his expression turned closed. " I leave because I must. I belong to no one but God." Vlad angrily kicked his horse beside Gabriel's. "No, you are mine now. You gave yourself to me. Did I not show you pleasure? Have I not given myself in service to God? No, you are mine" He tried to reach across to pull Gabriel to him but Gabriel moved his horse aside.

"Do not do this Vlad. I may have come to you but I am not yours to claim. I shall never be yours. Do not make this any worse then it already is. Return home to your family and let me go. I cannot be with you ever again." And with that Gabriel kicked his horse into motion intending to leave Vlad behind.

"No" Vlad screamed. "I will not let you go." He grabbed for the bridle of Gabriel's horse and was shocked when he felt a sword pressed against his neck. "No more, Vlad. You will leave me be or I will kill you." Vlad searched Gabriel's eyes looking for any signs of hope but saw only determination tinged with a certain sadness. "Goodbye Vlad. May you come to understand why this must be as it is." Gabriel slowly withdrew the sword and sheathed it. Then he rode away, leaving Vlad shattered behind him.

As Vlad watched the warrior ride away, he felt a wave of pain such that he had never felt before. He flung himself from the horse and stumbled to the side of the road. Tears wracked his body as he sobbed the agony that filled his very soul. He did not know how long he knelt there consumed by his grief. But when at last there were no more tears to be shed, he mounted his horse and rode back the way he came. He was utterly numb and no thoughts passed through his mind other then the overwhelming knowledge that Gabriel had denied him.

As he entered the courtyard of his family's castle he heard the bells chiming in the small chapel near by. Desperate he dismounted and went into the chapel. Kneeling at the altar he prayed. "God. Ever has my family served you. I have bled in your service and won glory in your name. I ask now that you give to me your Warrior. Give me Gabriel and I swear that I will continue to serve you as long as I have breath in my body. Give him to me and I will ask no more of you then this. I have earned this through my sacrifices and I will have my reward."

A bright light appeared on the altar before him and an angelic figure could be seen in the brilliance. "Vladislaus Valerious. Your pride has led you to ask for a reward far beyond your merit. The Left Hand of God is not for you to command. Leave off now and cease this arrogant ranting. Do not try God's patience further"

Vlad leapt up angrily. "Do not try God's patience? And what of mine? He asks everything of me and gives me nothing in return." "Everything?" the Angel snapped "Your arrogance knows no limits, mortal. Do not think that because your family serves God that you are above punishment. Cease this now or you will bring His wrath down upon you"

Vlad glared at the Angel and screamed "I will cease. I will cease my service to a God who denies me that which is rightly mine. I will have Gabriel as my own and there is no one – not even God – who will stop me" and with that, he stormed from the chapel.

Never again was Vlad seen in the home of his ancestors. Have rejected God, he gave himself over to evil. Soon his name was spoken with dread if spoken at all, and dark deeds and dark creatures were ever associated with him.

He laughed at his father's attempts to win him back for God. Like he would ever return to serving One who so pitifully treated his followers. Eventually his father gave up and instead turned his attentions to attempting to destroy the fortress where Vlad and his followers made their base. He had little success but Vlad knew he would keep trying because his father still blindly served God. He did not understand that he was merely a pawn for a God who would let him shed his blood and give his life for nothing. Vlad was no one's pawn and he would get his reward – it was only a matter of time now.

It was over a year before Rome chose to act as Vlad knew they would. When Gabriel rode into the area, Vlad was ready. This day he would have his prize. This day Gabriel would be his.

Gabriel rode to the gates of Vlad's fortress. Vlad had made it clear to his followers that no one was to harm Gabriel or interfere with him in any way on pain of a gruesome death. It was Vlad alone who walked out the gates of the fortress.

"Hello Gabriel. I have been waiting for you" Vlad said with a smile. He hungrily looked over the figure before him. Yes, this was a prize with selling his soul for.

"Vlad, I am sorry that it has come to this" Gabriel said quietly. "Come to what, my Gabriel?" said Vlad. "This is how I planned it. I knew that you would come to me. Now we shall be together"

"No Vlad, we shall not be together. I have come here to stop you. You are a servant of the Dark One. It is my sworn duty to destroy you." Vlad looked at Gabriel in shock. Quickly though anger overtook him. "Destroy me? You have come to destroy me? I have done EVERYTHING for you! There is nothing I have not sacrificed to have you. I have given my soul just to possess you – do you not understand?" he yelled angrily.

"You sold your soul out of your own greed and pride, Vlad. You were told that you could not have me and yet like a spoiled child you refused to listen. I was never yours nor will I ever be, no matter what deal you have made with Lucifer."

Vlad felt a rage burn through him like white-hot knives in his gut. Gabriel was rejecting him again. With a feral scream he drew his sword and ran at Gabriel. Gabriel drew his own and blocked the blow. Vlad continued to scream his rage as he rained down blow after blow on Gabriel.

The fight was fierce and ugly. Vlad wanted to rend Gabriel limb from limb; destroying the beauty that would be forever denied him. He wanted to inflict the same agony he was feeling on this dark haired man, bringing him down to the Hell that Vlad had been cast in. But his rage was making him blind and it was Gabriel who landed the first blow, cutting the hand that still bore the ring of the Heir of Valerous. The pain was intense but Vlad was too far gone in his rage to stop now. He would not stop until Gabriel laid dead at his feet.

It was his rage in the end that cost him his life. In his determination to maim, he left himself open and with a lightening stroke, Gabriel buried his sword deep in his chest. Vlad looked shocked as he felt the blow strike him down. He slowly sunk to his knees, looking at Gabriel with stunned eyes. "I did everything for you" he said as he felt life slipping away from him. "Why could you not see you were meant for me?"

Gabriel looked at him with deep sorrow. He slowly gathered the dying man in his arms. "Vlad, why could you not let me go? Why did you make me have to do this? You will burn in hell for this – you know that." He tenderly brushed the hair away from Vlad's face.

"I was in Hell the day you left me behind. It matters not now" A shutter wracked through Vlad's body. Gabriel held him close, offering the only thing he could – comfort. "I am sorry Vlad. Had I known how far you would go, I would not have allowed that night to happen." "Why did you give yourself to me that night, if not to pledge yourself to me". Gabriel grimaced, pain clearly showing in his eyes. "Because for one night I wanted to feel. I am the Left Hand of God, A Warrior for Good. I met out death and judgment at my Lord's command but in the end, I am always alone. For one night, I wanted to be with another. I am sorry. I never dreamed it would come to this" Tears filled his eyes as he looked down on the dying man.

Vlad closed his eyes as he felt death taking him. "So it was never me" he thought. "I cast it all away for nothing" Taking his final breath, he died.

And now Gabriel had been sent once again to destroy him. The added twist of the knife was that he had no memory of anything that had passed between them before. They say that the Devil was cruel but he had nothing on God. God who had shown him the one thing that he would ever crave and never possess. Gabriel…

His father was right. You should not ask for what you can never have…


End file.
